“I was googling “uncircumcised penis” while picturing his peeking out, poking the frontal cortex of my brain.”

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By two.one.five Staff  |  Send to Friend

My First... : Wherein we reminisce about a seminal experience in our sexual education.

The uncircumcised penis: once customary and useful for protecting the penis from dirt and foreign objects; now a slightly confounding obstacle that some must tackle.

I first encountered an uncircumcised penis my sophomore year of college. For some unknown reason, even to me, I had decided to ask my peek-a-boo penis friend if he was circumcised. I waited with abated breath to find out his answer through AIM. I watched impatiently while the “typing” icon steadily flashed on my screen. The sheer fact that it was taking so long for him to respond told me the answer.

I was googling “uncircumcised penis” while picturing his peeking out, poking the frontal cortex of my brain. Immediately, I was bombarded by images of uncircumcised penises of all sizes. They were all relatively the same shape, hidden by the lipstick tube. If I was going to strip down to my birthday suit and prove my skills to a guy with a device unknown to me, I was going to do my research…and do it well.

I had two concerns: his cleanliness and my skill. Through my reading I had discovered that the cleaning process is a bit meticulous. I worried that a crack or crevice would be mistakenly forgotten. As for my skills, I was in a whole new ballpark and feeling like my methods were destined to lack in some way. Since I’m a strong believer in having superior oral skills, I was going to give this gift well. I read numerous pages that day of how to use the foreskin to my advantage, but nothing could prepare me for my first experience.

My roommate had left for home that weekend, so I had the room to myself. I really didn’t even intend to fuck the guy (I had more respect for him than that), but one thing led to another and before I knew it my clothes were haphazardly strewn across the floor. When I first saw it, all I could do was stare. What was I getting myself into? Truth be told, there is nothing significantly different between a circumcised and an uncircumcised penis except your reaction to it. The entire time I wondered if what I was doing was actually pleasurable to my dear friend. I had to be instructed, and that damaged my ego a bit.

When it came to sex, it was pleasurable for both of us. I sure as hell hoped it would be seeing as it was his first time and all (yep, I robbed the cradle). The answer to my earlier question came with ease: it works just the same; and he worked it well.

Sexuations: Wherein we identify hot new sexual possibilities.

1. The Gummyworm

After a night of lethargic boozing and a coke binge that's worn off, a helplessly impotent guy manually squishes his lifeless member inside his partner's unsatisfied slit and leaves it in all night while they spoon.

I had to pee all night long but Randy Gummywormed again so i had to wait till morning to break free.

 

 2. Spin Art

When hot sweaty lovemaking comes to a climax on a humid summer night, the male grabs an oscillating fan from the nightstand, bestrides over his human canvas, and drips his lumpy paint onto the swinging fan blades, splattering the walls sheets and of course his partner in a shower of centrifugal whitewash.

Color Me Mine was closed, so Angelica and I just skipped it and went straight home for some Spin Art.