“It's entirely possible that Manning throws some shaky passes up for grabs -- I still can't put much faith in that kid -- but this Giants team is not going to suddenly collapse like a shitty soufflé. We have to give them that much respect.”

~ Piers Marchant

By Scott Garson  |  Send to Friend

Scott: Big week, Piers. Super Bowl week. I've got two scenarios for you, two possible futures, if you will.

Piers: Prognosticate away, O mystical oracle.

Scott: First, do you like people who say 'if you will'?

Piers: Hate it, actually. Along with any statement that makes plural a specific person -- eg. "You've got to have the Tom Bradys, the Eli Mannings, the Brian Jacobsons..." Drives me nuts.

I forget, how many "Tom Brady's" are there out there?

Oh, right, just the one.

Scott: Ok, here you go with Scenario Number One - First Half: Pats win the toss, elect to receive. Move down the field. Score. The G-men go three and out on their first possession. BUT. The Patriots don't do much for the rest of the first half, just add a field goal for a 10-zip lead. Then, right before half, Osi Umenyiora comes out of nowhere to disrupt Brady's pass. Stallworth has run a sideline route, and the ball is picked off and returned for a score. So, at the end of the first half: Pats 10, G-men 7. Your thoughts?

Piers: As in, how likely is that, or what might happen as a result?

Scott: Take it how you will, O receiver of the Oracle's wisdom.

Piers: Well, that scenario sounds mostly plausible to me and here's why: Everyone knows the Pats have struggled a bit offensively in some recent games (though they did put up 38 on this same Giants squad just a month ago) -- and Moss, in particular, has seemed out of sync. Teams have taken him out the equation. Now, if the Giants can keep Moss from going nuts, while stoning the running game like they did against the Pack -- they could be in business. You want to know the problem with that though?

Scott: Lez hear it.

Piers: Nobody makes half-time adjustments like the Pats. Unlike other head coaches, who, say, coach a team on the East Coast with a Bird-based motif who are not the Ravens, Belichick and his crew are very, very quick to asses what's working and what isn't in a given game-plan and deal accordingly. This is really what makes the Pats so tough -- even if you take them out of their game initially (as the Eagles did in the first half of Super Bowl XXXIX), they immediately switch to an alternate plan that takes care of whatever problem the other team is giving them. In that first scenario, with them only up a field goal at halftime and sputtering on offense, they would go into halftime and Belichick would announce "This isn't working, so we're moving to plan B" -- more curls to Walker; more running between the tackles for Maroney, or (and this is what killed the Birds) more screen passes to the middle of the field, whatever it takes, in short; and if the Giants can't adjust on the fly, it's all over. It's like you have to bring multiple defensive game plans that you can drop on them in a moment's notice. Not that the Giants wouldn't take a 10-7 halftime deficit, but if they sit on it and think they've solved the problem, they're in trouble.

Scott: Okay, so let's move to the Second half: The Pats are pissed off. They've controlled the game for the most part so far, and they have only a three point lead. They stop the Giants O at midfield, then make a couple big plays on offense to get the ball into Giants territory. But Gostkowski misses a 40-yard field goal, so they come up empty. Here's where things turn. The Giants problem on offense so far in this hypothetical game has been a failure to execute big clutch plays. They haven't played poorly in other words; they just haven't played really well, which you'll have to do to have any shot at beating the Pats. In their second possession of the second half, they make quick work of the field. It's mostly Manning to Burress. Then the Pats -- those adjusters -- pay a little too much attention to Burress, and Toomer gets open for a thirty-yard score. Giants 14, Patriots 10. The G-men add a field goal, so they take a 7 point lead into the fourth quarter. What happens then? Yes, the Patriots collect themselves. Yes, they score -- on an unbelievable catch by Moss, let's say. But nobody can do anything else on offense for the rest of the game. And the Giants win it on a 47 yard field goal as time expires.
Tell me this is not just an adolescent fantasy, Piers.

Piers: You know the one smart thing I said in our AFC Preseason Preview back in September? I said, if you're taking anybody but the Pats, you're just trying to show off. I cannot envision any scenario -- save a major injury situation with Brady getting taken out of the game in a body bag -- where the Pats blow this chance at history. Not to this Giants team, anyway. On some level, deep down, the Giants have to just be happy they've improbably arrived here. It might be close for a half or even (we can hope) three quarters. It might even come down to the last drive. But if you think for one second that last drive isn't going to propel the Pats to their fourth SB in seven years, than you are fully deluding yourself, I'm afraid.

Scott: Okay, P. We're sufficiently sobered for Scenario Number Two:
Here it is: First Quarter: Yoda Belichick, having recognized that Eli Manning, more than anyone else, is responsible for the G-men's turnaround, sends everybody at him, does all he can to knock Manning out of his comfort zone. Manning, too inexperienced to adjust quickly, keeps playing with the confidence he's shown in the last four games. Until that confidence gets him killed: two early picks, both converted to TD's by the Patriots. At half time, the Patriots are up 24-3. And the second half? We won't fault you for wandering out to the kitchen and devoting yourself to the making of some creative nachos....

Piers: Actually, I would guess this to be the more unlikely of the two scenarios. Not that it couldn't happen, but I don't see the Giants having a sudden meltdown game where they are (finally) revealed to be imposters. They earned this chance at the Pats fair and square, by beating three division winners (including the two supposed "best" teams in the NFC) on the road -- but they also earned it, at least in large part, by going toe-to-toe with them in the last game of the regular season. It's entirely possible that Manning throws some shaky passes up for grabs -- I still can't put much faith in that kid -- but this Giants team is not going to suddenly collapse like a shitty soufflé. We have to give them that much respect.

Scott: Keep the dream alive, Piers! Just don't lay any coin on it!

Piers: No way am I losing money on behalf of either of these two teams. So, wait a minute, what's your final score? I've got it Pats 34-20, damn them.

Scott: I have been losing sleep over that phantasmal Yoda Bill graphic you created. My final score: Patriots 27-20. I know. I know. Neither scenario I gave you matches it, but there you are.

Piers: "Winning four Super Bowls, I am."


Piers Marchant and Scott Garson are two old comrades from long-suffering sports towns who do their damndest to aggravate one another in the name of cyber-journalism.